Thursday, February 26, 2009

Reading About Writing About Writing


Anchorage - There are rules of writing, and you should probably attempt to break them all, and I’ve tried to toss in a few every now and then, you know, so we can all hone our writing skills. For instance, they say don’t never end no sentences with a preposition or use double negatives. Don't use no impressive Latin or French or arcane words and phrases that only you and your favorite novelist knows. Stuff like that.

Then, you’ve got to have something to say, right? Some interesting shit that can hold the reader’s attention. You’ve got to do that right up front in the first graph, then build the middle, then wrap it up in a bow with a catchy ending, a surprise ending, an interrogatory ending, a moral to the story ending, a wouldn’t ya know it ending, a there ya have it ending, some kinda bullshit ending, or whatever, but for certain, you’ve eventually got to end it.

Same way with every graph. Every graph is supposed to contain a kernel, a colonel, a bit of the story, the gory details, the questions, the elaboration, the continuation of the philosophical premise, the accumulation of bullshit, the furtherance of the argument, the cause, with a stamp at the end.

And then, or maybe before then, you’ve got to come up with a title*, like this one**, came to me just now, way down here in the 4th graph. So what? Who cares? You can come up with a title any damn time.

You can start with one. You can toss one out and come up with another, and you can mull it over when you’ve completed the work, wondering, ‘Now, what am I going to call this shit?’ Sometimes it has something to do with the content, but sez who? Sometimes not.

You can call it anything you like, it’s UP2U! And that’s why I encourage you to continue to write.

and proofread your work.

Wait a minute. Did I say, ‘Anchorage?’ no. that’s not right. Lemme check. Where the f…



*The absolute MOST fun of writing, isn’t it? I hope it is for you, too!

**You could carry this one on out ad infini…to the stars.